In 2022, Selena Gomez released the Apple TV+ documentary My Mind and Me, which detailed her battle with lupus, her mental health journey and her struggles with fame. She’s glad she made the film, but don’t expect her to give it a rewatch.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, on Tuesday, Selena spoke at the Music & Health Conference sponsored by her record label, Universal Music Group, and Thrive Global, a platform designed to help people cope with burnout. Discussing the doc, she said she was “very against” making it at the time as she was worried it would “jeopardize things in my life.”

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But, she said, after it was released, “I felt relieved. I felt like a huge weight was lifted.” She explained, “I felt like I got to say things that I’ve been keeping in for years. It’s very hard for me to watch. I will never watch it again, but I’m very proud of it.”

Selena also commented on being the most-followed woman on Instagram, where she has 429 million followers. “I’ve never really cared about that stuff. I suppose I’m grateful for the platform, and I would love to continue to use it for what I’m able to do, but numbers are just numbers,” she said.

What does matter to her was hearing about how her work has helped fans through difficulties in their lives. “I think that’s what kind of keeps me in check, to be honest,” she explained. “I think I can be a little reckless with my emotions, and having conversations with young people, women who are going through divorces or going through chemo — it’s not just about me, and I’m fully aware of that.”

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She concluded, “I will just always cherish it. It’s a big responsibility, though. It’s a little scary.”

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