Ellie Goulding revealed in a candid op-ed that motherhood has “changed everything” about her life.

Guest editing for Marie Claire, the “Lights” singer said she had no idea what effects motherhood would have on her.  “I thought I’d be a bit tired, have different priorities, but no. It really has changed everything,” she explained. “There have been so many chemical hormonal changes that I still can’t even compute. My brain is like a different brain and I’m still trying to figure that out.”

Ellie added she’s working to “reconnect and re-balance” herself since giving birth to her son, Arthur, last April.

“I’m preoccupied with being a mother and I’m preoccupied with trying to get back to normal,” she continued, adding she’s been shirking on her exercise routine and hasn’t had “a decent night’s sleep” since becoming a mom. “I’m trying not to be too hard on myself though,” she added.

Ellie noted that she has also been giving more time for herself to come to “grips with being a mother and the changes to my body and mind.”  One positive thing that has come from this reflective period is a new understanding of her “extreme” anxiety.

“I couldn’t function. I had really extreme symptoms. I would get dizzy, feel like I was going to faint, my heart would be doing backflips,” the British singer recalled.  Although she’s now managing her symptoms better, Ellie admits she’s still “overwhelmed by what’s going in the world.”

“I want to retreat,” she said, “but the best thing for me personally is to be informed.”

During those moments, Ellie recommends “moving your body” and  “surround[ing] yourself with the right people.”  While those tactics work for her, Ellie added her son “has become my daily motivation” to change for the better.

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