Mel B fans watched her undergo military training in Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test, and the Spice Girls singer recently revealed she joined the show to continue to heal from an abusive relationship.

Mel told Byrdie she thought “long and hard” about joining the reality show and wondered if she was strong enough to meet its demands.

“When you’ve experienced abuse, as I have, it’s a long journey to bring back your old self because you’re riddled with self-worthlessness. You’ve got no confidence — you experience shame, guilt, and PTSD,” she said. She eventually convinced herself to give it a try by telling herself, “This is going to come full circle for me.”

What kept Mel going throughout the demanding show was telling herself, “I’m doing this to prove to myself that I’m on my healing journey, and I want to help every survivor know that you can still do things and love yourself.”

Mel left the show on her own terms in the third episode, saying she felt accomplished.

“I’m so proud I did it because we don’t talk about abuse enough, and it’s everywhere,” she said. “We all know somebody who’s been through it, whether it be yourself, a family member, or a next-door neighbor.”

She added, “The more we talk about it, the more we can take action.”

Mel reflected on when she first opened up about being a victim of abuse, noting she’s glad views have changed since then: “I spoke up in 2015 when nobody wanted to publish my book or discuss abuse. Now, in England and worldwide, people are talking about it more. I’m proud of the progression.”

Special Forces airs Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on FOX.

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