Selena Gomez is about to bare her soul in the new Apple TV+ documentary Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me, in which she quite literally shows pages from her diary from when she was in a dark place.

But in a new Vulture interview, Selena says she’s now grateful to be on the other side of a painful period in her life.

“I don’t want people to think that I will forever live in this sad-girl world. Because that’s not true,” she says. “[Director] Alek [Keshishian] has said this, and it’s very true, that when people say, ‘What’s the end of the movie?’ The end of the movie is where I am now. Living in New York and just being. That’s all I want to do.”

“I am so happy and lovely here in New York,” she adds. “I love living with the older generation, so I’m on the Upper East Side. It’s very nice for that. I’m currently in a little cave and it’s so lovely and private.”

In addition to living her best New York City life, Selena says she’s working on perfecting her new album.

“We’ve actually been working for years on this new record, only because I want to be able to grow through my music,” she says. “I am the person who’s terrified of what will happen once it’s out, so I want it to be really well done and representative of where I am. There is a bunch of fun stuff that I’m so eager to leak, if I’m being honest.”

Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me premieres on AppleTV+ November 4.

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