Jessica Chastain had been nominated twice before nabbing Oscar gold Sunday night for her performance as the disgraced televangelist Tammy Faye Bakker in The Eyes of Tammy Faye.

However, backstage at the Oscars, she admitted hers was the first Academy Award trophy she’d ever even held.

“I’m friends with [The Theory of Everything winner] Eddie Redmayne and I’ve been to his house in London, and…Everyone was like, ‘Oh, look, his Oscar!’ And they all picked it up, and I was like, ‘I can’t pick it up!’ Like, I felt superstitious. So this is the very first time I’ve even held it!”

Considering that, where she’ll display it wasn’t on her mind either, “I have had no thought of where it’s going to go. But I will respect it for sure, wherever it is,” she said with a laugh.

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