Britney Spears offered some insight about the emotional damage she endured during her 13-year conservatorship.  The singer aired her frustrations in an Instagram post while sharing a photo of her 13-year-old self.

“13 was the age I actually felt kinda pretty … I think my rebellious days were due to the fact that I always had to be perfect and pretty,” Britney began. “Then I went to the extremes and went wild and naughty … but in those rebellious days I honestly still felt hot as f*** !!!”

Britney continued, “One thing the conservatorship did to me … and one of the things that hurt me the most … is that I was always being told I was fat and never good enough !!! My dad always made me feel like I had to try … try … try !!! BIG TIME !!!”

She said the effect of those comments, allegedly made by her father, Jamie Spears, “ruined the deep seed of my existence … the seed that made me feel beautiful like when I was 13 … my confidence … my swag … my inner dialogue … and yes even my sex life … all completely ruined !!! He made me feel ugly … therefore I was.”

Britney assured she’s working on loving herself again and said she “felt so good about myself” when the conservatorship was terminated: “I stopped trying so damn hard and yes I entered a whole new world !!! I felt beautiful … therefore I was !!!”

The “Everytime” singer noted she’s still grappling with the “psychological damage” from her father and the conservatorship, but stressed her focus is now on how she views and feels about herself.

Britney also hinted in a subsequent post she’s writing her tell-all memoir, adding, “Most will say she’s playing the victim but I honestly just say it like it is.”

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