Billie Eilish has a complicated relationship with her body. The 20-year-old singer’s “hated” it since she was 11, and the constant internet scrutiny makes it even harder for her to accept it.

Speaking to the Sunday Times, Billie revealed, “My relationship with my body has been a truly horrible, terrible thing since I was 11,” which was when she was diagnosed with Tourette’s.  

Fame intensified those struggles after the way she dressed became a hot button issue. The criticism over her baggy clothes was “driving me mad,” so she underwent a radical transformation in 2021 — dyeing her hair bleach blond and wearing a pink corset on the cover of Vogue. While the cover gained her praise, it also created more online hate.

“Wearing baggy clothes, nobody is attracted to me, I feel incredibly unlovable and unsexy and not beautiful, and people shame you for not being feminine enough,” the Oscar winner noted. “Then you wear something more revealing and they’re, like, you’re such a fat cow wh***. I’m a sl** and I’m a sell-out and I’m just like every other celebrity selling their bodies, and woah! What the f*** do you want? It’s a crazy world for women and women in the public eye.”

“I honestly don’t feel desired, ever. I do have this worry that I felt so undesirable that I may have occasionally tried too hard to be desirable. It makes me sad to think about,” she added. Billie says that look “was not me” and has since returned to baggy clothes and black hair.

Billie says she is working on accepting her body fully. “I love that my body is mine and that it’s with me everywhere I go,” she said. “I kind of think of my body as my friend. My ugly friend!”

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